"Enjoy what you can, Endure what you must"

Life is entirely too short to live any part of it unhappy. I wish that more people would understand this especially when it comes to picking a partner or deciding whether or not the relationship is worth it in the long run. I understand that no person or relationship is perfect. I get that it takes effort and hardwork to make anything work but what is up with people thinking that you must endure through everything? I have tried many times to understand why people feel obligated to stay in a situation that does not make them happy. To be honest, in the past, I was one of those people but these days I really can't seem to wrap my head around it.

Like I said I understand that no one is perfect. Everyone has habits and quirks that can drive you absolutely nuts, I get it. Im not saying that you should break up with Joe because he has a terrible habit of clipping his toenails on the kitchen table, for example, and won't stop no matter how many times you ask. But, then again I guess that kind of is what I am saying. If you are so sick and tired of something someone is doing, even if it is something as trivial, but still disgusting, as clipping toenails on the kitchen table, and you have adressed it to no avail, you have every right to pump the brakes and call it quits. Sure it may be a bit dramatic but who cares. Life is too freaking short to spend it with someone who is not willing to give you what you want.

The problem with too many people today is that they are not picky enough and are willing to put up with someone just for the sake of having somebody around. If people stopped being pussies and started being more vocal and upfront about their needs and desires, this world would be a much happier place. We as people are amazing. You are amazing and you deserve to have the things that you want from life and the things that you want from a person. Have some standards and really decide what and who is really worth your energy. You have every right to be honest and upfront and demand whatever it is that you want from somebody (within reason of course). The person can either rise to the challenge, or you can keep it moving and find someone else who can. On the flip side, don't be discouraged if you make your request and the person decides that you don't mean enough to them to compromise or change. A favor has been done to you. Be grateful. You skipped straight through the bullshit and are now free to experience someone else who might actually be worth your while.

We need to stop feeling guilty for realizing that someone may not be exactly what we want. We also need to quit beating ourselves up when someone decides we may not be the right person for them. Don't try to fight it. Accept it and move on. Every single person in this world has the right, no, the obligation, to have exactly what they want in this world even its not you. Realize that and keep moving forward. If we want the chance to be seriously happy with someone we need to learn to say goodbye to those who don't exactly fit the bill.

Yes. Life is short but it is also long. And what you decide to endure one day, can turn into something your forced to endure for the rest of your time here on earth. Life is about choices. Whether you choose to live happily or you choose to live miserably, the choice is up to you.

"True love is not finding someone else but finding your other half"

This quote is complete bull shit. Calm down. Before you start thinking i'm all anti-love, let me explain my theory. From the time we start to show interest in the opposite sex, one of the things that is drilled into our heads is that "true love is finding your other half". From that point on, most of us are conditioned to think that love and happiness are found in someone else. We tend to overlook how important it is too find this happiness within ourselves and within our own interests and hobbies. After a while, it is not uncommon for us to start to lose a part of us. We begin to love another person more than we love ourselves and start putting up with things that we most definitely should not. That, my friends, is the start of a crappy relationship.

I can't stress enough how important it is to truly love you before you go and try to hand that love out all over town. Yea I know "loving you" sounds like something your mother would say but I am not your mom. It is the truth. You need to really spend time getting to know yourself. What are you interested in? What do you like? What do you dislike? Insecurities? What do you really want from another person? Really accepting you for you is crucial for any relationship whether it be romantic or strictly platonic. The best way to forge a successful relationship is to become the best version of yourself as possible so you can demand that of others that are biding for your time and attention. That will just confirm that you deserve the very best and that settling is out of the question. Have you ever heard the saying you attract what you put out? If you're strong and independent and know what you want out of life, chances are those will be the types of people that you attract. If you're a fragile mess looking for validation in everyone you meet, your going to attract something similar or worse someone who picks up on that and uses that to their advantage. Not a picture perfect story is it?

So c'mon people. Your other half? Get real. Let's be objective about this for a second. Why would you want half of anything if you could have the whole thing? Its freezing cold outside, do you want half of a coat? Or how about when its pouring down raining. You would'nt want half of an umbrella....So why in the world would you want half of a person? Wouldn't you rather have one whole person instead? Last time I checked, 1/2 + 1/2= 1 and 1+1=2 right?  I don't know about you but I would take 2 over 1 any day. So forget about the search for Mr. Right. Go search for you. The second you start feeling complete by yourself, the man of your dreams will fall right into your lap.

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time"

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time". I love this quote and the older that I get the more it applies especially when it comes to relationships. We all know the feeling that we get when we meet someone that we really really like or we land ourselves in a new relationship. All we can see is how amazing and smart and funny they are. Meanwhile, as we are off somewhere with our head in the clouds, this person is showing us the real, not so amazing or smart or funny version of themself.... When we finally do notice something is a bit off, we either a.) ignore it, or, my personal favorite b.) justify their actions and make excuses for them. Both options not only suggest delusion on our part, but they also set the stage for things to happen again....and again....and again....catch my drift?

Now, ill be honest, I didnt really start to enjoy football until recently (I have a point I promise). Basketball games are so fast paced and exciting. But football? It seems like every 5 seconds theres a "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Flag on the play!". These stupid penalties seem to make the game last forever, but, one day, when I really sat down to think, it hit me.... What if we treated relationships like a football game? These people that we so eagerly allow to occupy our time are committing penalties all over the place. Because of our love, infatuation, or whatever the hell else we choose to call it, we ignore all of the signs and red flags that they have been damn near throwing at us from the beginning. At the end of the day, when the relationship goes sour, we sit, scratch our heads and complain to our friends trying to figure out what went wrong. Hell! a few tears may have even been shed along the way. We start going on and on about how he wasnt like that in the beginning.... He changed! No he didn't hunny. He was the same exact person now as he was when you met him you were just too blind to see it. Timeout... I take that back. You saw it. You just chose to ignore it. He showed you exactly what he was about. He showed you exactly what type of person he is. He even showed you exactly what he wanted from you. He may not have said it with words but had you have been paying attention, his actions were telling you anything and everything you needed to know. Next time around, why don't you try refereeing your love life. When something seems off or doesn't sound right, throw in your flags and act accordingly. Sure, it may take a little bit longer to win, but isn't it better to know that the person winning with you really deserved it?  Lets be real people... Relationships are like a war zone! Although it can be very rewarding, often times its rough and painful. Who knows you may even exit with a battle scar or two. Relationships are the very thing that help to define us as people so don't ignore whats right infront of you. Life is rough enough without someone else adding to the stress. You need to play hard, and play fast but also play smart. So get out your whistle and don't hesitate to throw out a flag..... A red flag that is!

"...if you love someone let them go... if they come back...."

"If you love someone let them go. If they return they were always yours". I used to think this was the most cliche quote known to man. Then life happened. I met a guy. I fell in love. We broke up. Never got over it. You know the typical girl meets boy scenario. Well maybe not the "never got over it part" but I digress.

The type of breakups that I can't stand to see are the breakups that dont actually entail a "break". You know what im talking about. You call yourselves remaining friends when in actuality your doing the same exact things that you were doing while you two were together. Talk on the phone everyday. Continue to give a shit about what the other is doing. And almost always through out the, the "no-break break up" as I call it, you two are still having sex. As much as a "No-No" as that is, its not really the point of this particular post.

"No-break break ups" happen because one or more parties cannot let go of the other. They have convinced themselves that they are meant to be. That the other  person is the one for them. The break up was a mistake.... Now.... I am a firm believer in true love and I would be a liar if I said I wasnt obsessed with the romantic movie ending when they realize that they are still madly in love and can't live without eachother. If you notice the trend in those movies though, these people separate. They break up. And I mean a real break where there is no communication. They each live their separate lives and even date other people.  And then when the time is right, fate brings them back together.

The moral of this story is you have to let go! How will fate take its course if we are constantly trying to direct the so-called movie that is our life? True love stands the test of time and distance. You just have to have faith that you will end up with who you are supposed to end up with. This is the way I picture it... Have you ever had a moment where you think about a person that you havent seen or talked to in forever? You have spent months even years without the person, youve lived your life, changed and even grew up a little but you never forgot about that person... and then BAM! the day after that person pops in your head you see them in aisle 6 of the grocery store. Fate is the only possible thing that brought you two to the same place at the same time. You werent trying to stay relevant in eachothers lives, fate is what brought you back. That to me is kind of like true love. If a relationship ends, let it. Let go. Live and experience life. Fate has a funny way of putting people back where they need to be.