"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time"

"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time". I love this quote and the older that I get the more it applies especially when it comes to relationships. We all know the feeling that we get when we meet someone that we really really like or we land ourselves in a new relationship. All we can see is how amazing and smart and funny they are. Meanwhile, as we are off somewhere with our head in the clouds, this person is showing us the real, not so amazing or smart or funny version of themself.... When we finally do notice something is a bit off, we either a.) ignore it, or, my personal favorite b.) justify their actions and make excuses for them. Both options not only suggest delusion on our part, but they also set the stage for things to happen again....and again....and again....catch my drift?

Now, ill be honest, I didnt really start to enjoy football until recently (I have a point I promise). Basketball games are so fast paced and exciting. But football? It seems like every 5 seconds theres a "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! Flag on the play!". These stupid penalties seem to make the game last forever, but, one day, when I really sat down to think, it hit me.... What if we treated relationships like a football game? These people that we so eagerly allow to occupy our time are committing penalties all over the place. Because of our love, infatuation, or whatever the hell else we choose to call it, we ignore all of the signs and red flags that they have been damn near throwing at us from the beginning. At the end of the day, when the relationship goes sour, we sit, scratch our heads and complain to our friends trying to figure out what went wrong. Hell! a few tears may have even been shed along the way. We start going on and on about how he wasnt like that in the beginning.... He changed! No he didn't hunny. He was the same exact person now as he was when you met him you were just too blind to see it. Timeout... I take that back. You saw it. You just chose to ignore it. He showed you exactly what he was about. He showed you exactly what type of person he is. He even showed you exactly what he wanted from you. He may not have said it with words but had you have been paying attention, his actions were telling you anything and everything you needed to know. Next time around, why don't you try refereeing your love life. When something seems off or doesn't sound right, throw in your flags and act accordingly. Sure, it may take a little bit longer to win, but isn't it better to know that the person winning with you really deserved it?  Lets be real people... Relationships are like a war zone! Although it can be very rewarding, often times its rough and painful. Who knows you may even exit with a battle scar or two. Relationships are the very thing that help to define us as people so don't ignore whats right infront of you. Life is rough enough without someone else adding to the stress. You need to play hard, and play fast but also play smart. So get out your whistle and don't hesitate to throw out a flag..... A red flag that is!

"...if you love someone let them go... if they come back...."

"If you love someone let them go. If they return they were always yours". I used to think this was the most cliche quote known to man. Then life happened. I met a guy. I fell in love. We broke up. Never got over it. You know the typical girl meets boy scenario. Well maybe not the "never got over it part" but I digress.

The type of breakups that I can't stand to see are the breakups that dont actually entail a "break". You know what im talking about. You call yourselves remaining friends when in actuality your doing the same exact things that you were doing while you two were together. Talk on the phone everyday. Continue to give a shit about what the other is doing. And almost always through out the, the "no-break break up" as I call it, you two are still having sex. As much as a "No-No" as that is, its not really the point of this particular post.

"No-break break ups" happen because one or more parties cannot let go of the other. They have convinced themselves that they are meant to be. That the other  person is the one for them. The break up was a mistake.... Now.... I am a firm believer in true love and I would be a liar if I said I wasnt obsessed with the romantic movie ending when they realize that they are still madly in love and can't live without eachother. If you notice the trend in those movies though, these people separate. They break up. And I mean a real break where there is no communication. They each live their separate lives and even date other people.  And then when the time is right, fate brings them back together.

The moral of this story is you have to let go! How will fate take its course if we are constantly trying to direct the so-called movie that is our life? True love stands the test of time and distance. You just have to have faith that you will end up with who you are supposed to end up with. This is the way I picture it... Have you ever had a moment where you think about a person that you havent seen or talked to in forever? You have spent months even years without the person, youve lived your life, changed and even grew up a little but you never forgot about that person... and then BAM! the day after that person pops in your head you see them in aisle 6 of the grocery store. Fate is the only possible thing that brought you two to the same place at the same time. You werent trying to stay relevant in eachothers lives, fate is what brought you back. That to me is kind of like true love. If a relationship ends, let it. Let go. Live and experience life. Fate has a funny way of putting people back where they need to be.